Before you all start reading this blog, I want to share a link that ignited the fire I’m about to throw at one of my former favorite Idolists. (CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE)

Now that you’ve read the article, here’s what I have to say.

I have to whole-heartedly disagree with Clay Aiken with his response to the idol question. I know that everybody’s entitled to their own opinion, yes. But the last few years haven’t been about finding polished contestants that seem to know what they’re doing from the get-go. You can’t expect a glorified talent show like, American Idol, to progress in a way where they’ll consistently find talent like Kelly, Ruben or Fantasia. I used to rant about how amazing the first two seasons were until I fully sat down and watched Idol this year. The dynamic within the talent was so varied, it wasn’t easy choosing who should go. I don’t think Idol backstopped and favored one person. I think that one person that was “favored” stood out the most. Kind of like how Clay stood out (as did Ruben) in season two.

If Idol REALLY wanted us to choose whom they felt should win, then Idol would’ve blatantly favored Scott McIntyre, whom, I might add, is blind with a shitload of talent; a Stevie Wonder for the younger generations, JUST so they can crown the first differently-abled American Idol as a publicity stunt. Or, if you want to start when Idol was in it’s infancy, Tamyra Gray would’ve won had she not have gotten voted off early and was definitely a front-runner in that competition. Joshua Gracin would’ve won season two because he’s a singing, handsome marine and Latoya London would’ve won the contest over Fantasia as, Latoya, was voted off early like Tamyra did. In season four, Constantine Moroulis would’ve won if he didn’t get voted off as early as he did, too. How about season five when Taylor Hicks won? If Daughtry didn’t get voted off, then he would’ve been crown that so-called, “Polished American Idol,” that Clay was referring to. Moving on, Blake Lewis over Jordin Sparks (even though Melinda should’ve won), and finally, Michael Johns would’ve won over David Cook.

Now, Clay Aiken is a geek-to-chic Idolist. Remember, he had a complete make over when he made it to the top 12 which would constitute him AS a polished Idolist. …Ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black? I think so. Clay Aiken was one of the most memorable contestants as he would’ve won the title had he been on the winning side of the 130,000 vote difference. He was a likable character, a phenomenal talent, and, actually, pretty attractive aprés Idol makeover despite we all knew he’s homosexual from start. I have every reason to believe him detesting Idol and Adam Lambert is the result of being dethroned as the most memorable runner-up. He saw ONE performance from Adam Lambert and didn’t even bother reviewing the other performances Adam gave. “Made [his] ears bleed” is a direct quote from that entry. You can’t judge based on one performance only, because if that were the case, the auditions would be the finals in itself. The first good voice they would hear would be the winner without giving others a second glance.

Then, he has the nerve to say that Idol backstopped Adam and favored Adam and pushed to vote for Adam? You can’t say that you put all your faith in the voters and then turn around and say that Idol forced the voters to choose who Idol thinks should advance. You can’t force a mass of people to vote when they have the ability to vote for whom they see is worthy. You can make suggestions, but that doesn’t mean the masses will accept the suggestion. That’s like dining in a restaurant where the waiter suggest to try the special. It’s nice to make a suggestion, but does everybody take the special upfront without looking at other options first? Obviously not.

I don’t think Clay Aiken is in any position to point and condemn. If he wants to play that card, then I could think of two things Clay can be condemned to hell for by means of what the Bible states. Yet, he’s praised and adored although he’s committed a couple acts of blasphemy (and he makes his fans pay to read what he says… don’t tell me that’s not highway robbery). He didn’t even praise Adam for being a class act and extremely gracious and genuine. Adam could’ve been an asshole when he found out he lost, but he wasn’t. He lost …with grace.

I’ve lost a lot of respect for Clay as a person. You would think he’d be a little open-minded for a person of his stature. He doesn’t have the proper knowledge of what has happened to be making the statements he’s made. Don’t go judging what you don’t know, because you don’t know when those judgments will turn around and bite you in the ass.

I’ve always loved that quote. It makes me feel better knowing you can always pull a positive out a negative. This may seem petty, but I was pretty upset at the fact that Adam Lambert lost American Idol to Kris Allen. Don’t get me wrong. Kris Allen is one talented dark horse, but MAN, what a statement would it be if Adam won. What a great feeling knowing that somebody as unique and delightfully unorthodox as Adam winning a show whom the winner would be a representative of the conventional man or woman. I know it’s not really the same, but there’s a parallel, but it’s like when Barack Obama won the presidential election. It shows how we as a society were able to move away from the Jim Crowe era and into an era of integration and acceptance. American Idol, the pinnacle of searching for that diamond in the rough whom each contestant was a representative of their respective social caste, would be the presidential election all over again. Now, everybody knows that Adam Lambert is gay (or bisexual, or whatever he is at the moment) and obviously, not a wholesome dude. Pictures of him surfaced of him kissing other guys (and some girls, hence the confusion) and all of a sudden, there’s a bigotry uprising. He shouldn’t win because he’s not wholesome, not as modest as Kris, overrated, and etc.

Save the excuses for your girlfriends or boyfriends, husbands or wives, or fiances for when they catch you having an affair with somebody else. Just admit he shouldn’t win because he has stage experience and, dare I say, …is gay? May I repeat that this is the 21st century? Applications for the third reich are no longer being accepted, people. If we’re able to accept change as a society, than a homosexual competing in a glorified talent show should constitute as part of that change we’re all ranting about.

Now, there’s an upside to this… not only does Adam Lambert NOT have to sing that god awful song that Kara (despite the fact I now have 100% respect for her) wrote, but America sees the star quality in him. He didn’t get the title, no. He did show America that he can perform with the best of them if not even better than the best. He’ll have a long and illustrious career ahead of him once his contract for Idol is up.

Congratulations to Kris Allen! BEST of luck to Adam Lambert!

I may have found my next web project… to be announced when I’ve officially decided on it.

I get really irritated with ASAP.  For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a filipino variety show that you can view on The Filipino Channel.  They never have any sense of originality.  They take an already newly interpreted song and sing it the way it was just interpreted and expect a big hurrah after the performance.  Adam Lambert did a cover (albeit, a very good cover) of Gary Jules’s cover of Tears for Fears’ “Mad World” on American Idol and I just heard that exact over, except sung by somebody else, on ASAP.  They can’t say it’s the Gary Jules cover, because it’s sung in the exact same way Adam Lambert sang it.

Why can’t get learn how to do their own covers, their own interpretations, or at least shit an ounce of originality in their performances?  Do they think they can re-do the newly interpreted cover better? …Because they can’t.  Can’t re-do the work of something that’s already great unless you do it in your own way.  That’s ORIGINALITY.  There’s nothing original about a copy cat performance.  I feel bad for their audience because they buy into so much bullshit on that show and don’t know it.  It’s the bullshit singers, the bullshit dancers, and the bullshit glitz and shimmer that acts as the aluminum foil to distract the audience.  There really should be an uproar of outrage and disgust with their performances.

And the female singers?  …UGH!  Ridiculous.  It’s like every female actress is a singer, too.  Not to mention, they ALL SOUND THE SAME.  Then when they all sing in a group, there’s no sense of harmonizing.  They all want to outshine each other.  They don’t perform for the sake of entertaining, but for the sake of trying to one-up each other as if the performance was a competition.  Male singers are the same.  All sound alike, and almost every actor is a singer.  The only way they differ is that they actually try to harmonize when they sing in a group.

Dear Filipino (and Filipina) Celebrities:  Take a lesson from REAL artists and try to stand out in your OWN damn way.  Stop copying other people’s work.  You make it really easy to be ashamed to be filipina when the talent in your own country doesn’t know how to stand out on their own without exactly copying another person’s performance.  Thank you.

I got about to reading my private journal (not blog, an actual journal) and I’ve realized how miserable I am in those early entries. The last few entries, I’ve tried to sound a little more upbeat, but I had no idea how disenchanted I am at my life and how self-centered I could be. It’s amazing what you can learn about your self when reading back all the things written in a single journal.

In one entry, I wrote a few goals I wanted to reach that were independent of my career goals. One of those goals was “to find the happiness within and keep it there.” I think that will be the hardest goal I’ll ever try to reach because I could never seem to find anything that will keep me happy for longer than a day. Here’s how it is with me. I could have a WONDERFUL day and the next day, rather than realizing how happy I was the previous day, I’m in full-fledged “emo” mode. It’s like I should be eating razor blades for breakfast. JJ, one of my best good online buddies, emits this illustrious confidence that I WISH I had. She’s so brave and strong that I only hope to be at least a quarter of what she is in that aspect. This is why I have such a strong respect and admiration for her. She’s able to make a positive out of a lot of things. Maria, my friend from high school, was always happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile falter at least once.

When I was younger, I always thought these people who’d live through the day without thinking about how shitty it was or how shitty the next day will be were nothing but a collective group of grinning idiots, like they’re ignorant and oblivious of the world around them. There’s so much pain in the world and it’s like they never feel it. It’s as if they’ve taken an extra strength pain killer at the beginning of each day. Now that I know why they’re nothing but “grinning idiots,” I can’t help but wonder why I’m not part of that in-crowd. Why can I not smile for the sake of smiling rather than expecting a reason to? Why can I not live in the moment without thinking of the future?

I graduate in 2 weeks from tomorrow. It’s exciting because I’ve accomplished step 2 in my list of career goals …and yet… I’m not smiling. The facial expression I have right now while thinking about this isn’t even neutral. If anything… I’m frowning.